COVID-19 Vaccine Madness: Third Dose Linked to Surge in Cancer Deaths, Japanese Study Finds

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In a shocking twist that nobody saw coming (unless you’ve been living under a rock), a groundbreaking study from Japan has dropped a bombshell: getting jabbed for the third time with mRNA COVID-19 vaccines might just fast-track you to an early exit via cancer. What a time to be alive, right?

Published in the highly esteemed medical journal Cureus (because who doesn’t trust Cureus for their daily dose of medical enlightenment?) on April 8, this study dug deep into the abyss of vaccination data and mortality rates. The conclusion? Brace yourselves, folks – statistically significant increases in cancer deaths post the administration of that oh-so-trendy third mRNA-based Wuhan coronavirus vaccine dose.

Pfizer Vaccine: A DNA Roulette or Cancer’s New Best Friend?

So, what’s the deal, you ask? Well, hold onto your hats (or your tinfoil ones, for the skeptics out there), because here’s the lowdown. Japan, proudly boasting some of the highest vaccination rates on the planet, is now on its seventh dose. Yes, you heard that right – SEVENTH. Who needs a lucky number when you’ve got seven doses of vaccine coursing through your veins?

According to this eye-opening study, the initial year of the pandemic was a breeze – no excessive cancer mortalities to ruin the mood. But wait for it… cue the ominous music as mass vaccination campaigns roll in. Suddenly, there’s a surge in cancer mortality rates that coincidentally aligns perfectly with those little vaccine needles making their grand entrance.

Surge in Long-Term Sickness Correlates with COVID Vaccine Rollout in UK

Fast forward to 2022, and things take a turn for the worse. Excess mortalities for all sorts of cancers start popping up like unwanted party guests – ovarian, leukemia, prostate, lip/oral/pharyngeal, pancreatic, and the grand finale: breast cancer. It’s like a dystopian carnival of mortality, brought to you by the letter V for Vaccine.

But hey, let’s not get too ahead of ourselves. Maybe it’s just a coincidence, right? Wrong. Even cancers like pancreatic cancer, the overachievers of morbidity, decided to join the party early, showing a steady rise pre-pandemic just to keep things interesting.

And who’s stealing the show in this tragic comedy of errors? Well, it’s none other than our favorite age group – the 80 to 84-year-olds. Give them a round of applause, folks. They’ve received their third dose with such enthusiasm that over 90 percent of them are now starring in their own final act.

But fear not, dear readers, for the plot thickens. Turns out, it’s not just cancer we need to worry about. The CDC, that beacon of truth and transparency, has been forced to spill the beans on a whopping 780,000 previously undisclosed reports of serious adverse reactions. Who needs transparency when you can have secrecy, right?

And let’s not forget our friends at Project Veritas, doing the lord’s work by exposing the under-reporting of adverse effects. Turns out, bureaucratic hurdles and a touch of denial are all it takes to sweep a few thousand myocarditis cases under the rug.

So, what’s the hot take on all of this? Well, strap in, folks, because here it is:

HOT TAKE: Japanese study: Third dose of mRNA COVID-19 vaccine linked to significant increase in cancer mortality rates

And there you have it, folks. The plot thickens, the drama unfolds, and the vaccines keep on rolling. Who said reality couldn’t be stranger than fiction?

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