Why are no politicians dying suddenly?

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Oh, it’s an absolute mystery, isn’t it? I mean, politicians are known for their immortal qualities, right up there with vampires and cockroaches. It’s not like they’re mere mortals susceptible to the same ailments and accidents as the rest of us mere peasants.

Perhaps they’ve discovered the secret elixir of eternal life during one of their secretive, exclusive club meetings. You know, the ones where they decide the fate of the world while sipping on unicorn tears and feasting on the dreams of the common folk.

Or maybe, just maybe, they’ve all invested in cutting-edge anti-gravity boots to prevent themselves from ever falling down the stairs. After all, nothing says “I’m invincible” like defying the laws of physics.

And let’s not forget their super-advanced health regimens, involving daily infusions of unicorn blood and the occasional rejuvenating soak in a tub filled with the tears of lobbyists. Because, clearly, that’s what keeps them looking so fresh and vibrant.

In conclusion, the lack of sudden political departures must be attributed to their superior genetics, otherworldly elixirs, and mastery of gravity-defying technology. It couldn’t possibly be because they’re human like the rest of us, right? Oh, the wonders of the political elite and their miraculous ability to cheat the inevitability of life!

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