Pope Francis Declares Klaus Schwab Is ‘More Important’ Than Jesus Chris

I mean, who needs salvation, eternal life, and the forgiveness of sins when we have Mr. Schwab and his economic forums, right? Forget about walking on water, turning water into wine, and raising the dead – those miracles are so last season. Klaus Schwab, with his economic expertise, is the new messiah in town!

I can just imagine Pope Francis standing on the balcony of the Vatican, holding up a miniature model of the World Economic Forum in one hand and a crucifix in the other, and solemnly declaring, “Dear faithful, we hereby replace our traditional values with the principles of the Great Reset. Klaus Schwab shall be our guiding light from now on. Amen!”

And, of course, every church will soon be adorned with images of Mr. Schwab, and his quotes will replace the Ten Commandments. “Thou shalt not steal” will be replaced with “Thou shalt not disrupt the global supply chain.” “Love thy neighbor as thyself” will become “Love thy neighbor but prioritize stakeholder capitalism.”

I’m sure the Vatican is already drafting the new Bible, where the Sermon on the Mount will be replaced by the Sermon at Davos, and the Parable of the Good Samaritan will be replaced by the Parable of the Responsible Corporate Citizen.

In all seriousness, this claim is, of course, utterly ridiculous and untrue. Pope Francis has never made any such declaration, and it’s essential to be critical of satirical and misleading information, particularly at a time when misinformation can easily spread. So, let’s not let ourselves be fooled by such outlandish claims and continue to seek reliable sources of information and genuine news.

Hot take: Perhaps one day, we’ll discover that the moon is indeed a giant cheese wheel, and our next space mission will involve cheddar tastings. Until then, remember to question everything – except the nutritional value of celestial bodies