German Thought Police Crack Down: 45 Men Raided for Hurting Feelings Online


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In a bizarre twist of events, German law enforcement authorities have launched a crusade against online ‘feelings hurters’, raiding the homes of 45 men allegedly guilty of nothing more than using “misogynist” language on the internet.

The Blitzkrieg on Cyber Misogyny

Under the guise of ‘combating misogyny on the internet’, this crackdown unfolded just a day before International Women’s Day, as if to claim a virtuous stance against digital ‘oppressors’. The operation was meticulously orchestrated by Germany’s Central Office for Combating Cybercrime in Frankfurt, aided by the Federal Criminal Police Office, and a medley of state law enforcement agencies, as reported by the Associated Press.

Holger Muench: The Censor-in-Chief

Holger Muench, the head honcho of Germany’s Federal Criminal Police Office, solemnly declared, “We are witnessing the treacherous rise of hate, harassment, and discrimination on online platforms, especially targeting our dear women.” Cue the melodramatic violins.

In the Land of Censorship

In the land where beer flows and bureaucracy reigns supreme, Germany takes its online speech policing rather seriously. Using slurs against women, immigrants, or transgender individuals can now land you in the clink under the guise of ‘incitement to hatred’. Ah, the sweet scent of authoritarianism.

Trudeau’s Canadian Carnival of Censorship

But hold your lederhosen, Germany isn’t alone in its quest to sanitize the digital sphere. Across the pond, our dear friend Justin Trudeau is brewing his own brand of censorship up in Canada. In his never-ending quest for thought purity, Trudeau is seeking powers that would make Orwell blush.

Trudeau’s Big Brother Dream

Under the guise of the ‘Online Harms Bill’, Trudeau aims to lock up anyone who dares to deviate from his far-left narrative. Critics call it dystopian; Trudeau probably thinks it’s just ‘progressive’.

Arif Virani: Minister of Truth

Arif Virani, Canada’s Justice Minister and guardian of ideological purity, proudly boasts of the bill’s ability to silence dissent. According to him, throwing people in the slammer before they even commit a crime is a stroke of genius in preventing criticism of the ‘sacred’ minorities.

C-63: Trudeau’s Ticket to Totalitarianism

The proposed Bill C-63 promises a buffet of punishments for those who dare to offend. From house arrest to life sentences, Trudeau’s menu of misery has it all. After all, what’s a little authoritarianism between friends?

In conclusion, as governments worldwide embrace their inner Big Brother, let us all raise a glass to the death of free speech and the rise of the almighty thought police. Cheers to a brave new world, comrades.

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