In a plot twist worthy of a political thriller, Democrat lawmakers in a pivotal swing state for the 2024 presidential showdown have quietly rolled out the red carpet for non-citizens to strut their stuff at the ballot box. It’s a move that has election law experts scratching their heads and Lady Liberty shedding a tear.
Crafting Chaos: The Arizona Shuffle
Arizona Secretary of State Adrian Fontes, donning his cloak of deception, has masterfully woven a web of confusion with the state’s Election Procedures Manual (EPM). Hidden within its labyrinthine pages lies a loophole so wide you could drive a caravan through it, allowing individuals of dubious citizenship to waltz in and cast their votes.
A Federal Fiasco: The Rise of the “Federal-Only” Voter
Buried deep within the EPM’s cryptic passages is the revelation that those whose citizenship hangs in the balance can still snag a coveted spot on the federal election dance floor. Dubbed the “federal-only” voter, these enigmatic figures are granted the privilege of participating solely in federal races, leaving state and local contests in the dust.
Alien Infiltration: A Recipe for Chaos
Hans von Spakovsky, the voice of reason in a cacophony of chaos, sounds the alarm bells. With a wave of his legal wand, he conjures the specter of illegal migrants flocking to the polls, armed with nothing more than their word and a voter registration card. The Justice Department’s blind eye only adds fuel to the fire, as aliens line up to cast their ballots.
A Symphony of DEception: Fontes’ Folly
Ken Cuccinelli, a titan of truth in a sea of deceit, shakes his head in disbelief. Adrian Fontes, entrusted with the sacred duty of safeguarding democracy, instead opens the floodgates to non-citizen voters and muddies the waters of legitimacy. The stage is set for a showdown of epic proportions, with the fate of the republic hanging in the balance.
Conclusion: The Theater of the Absurd
As the curtain falls on this tragicomedy of errors, one thing remains abundantly clear: democracy, once the beacon of hope for the world, has become a punchline in the hands of those who seek to undermine its very foundations. Will the people rise up and reclaim their voice, or will they be drowned out by the cacophony of deceit? The choice is theirs, but the consequences will echo through the annals of history.
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