US Approves $20 Billion ‘Peacekeeping’ Weapons Sale to Israel: Because Nothing Says ‘Stop Fighting’ Like 50 New Fighter Jets

In a move that will surely bring peace and harmony to the Middle East, the US government has generously approved a $20 billion arms sale to Israel. This package, which includes enough fighter jets, missiles, and ammunition to equip a small army—oh wait, it is equipping a small army—was approved despite widespread concerns that it might, just might, perpetuate the ongoing violence in Gaza.

The Art of ‘Peace Through Superior Firepower’

The State Department, in its infinite wisdom, notified Congress that this mammoth arms deal is crucial to ensuring Israel’s security. After all, what’s more important to national interests than arming one side of a conflict with weapons capable of mass destruction? Washington, always the beacon of diplomacy, has emphasized that Israel’s ability to defend itself is vital to US interests. And by “defend,” they clearly mean “launch airstrikes with 50 shiny new F-15IA fighter jets.”

These jets, along with the upgrade of 25 existing ones, are the crown jewels of the deal, priced at a modest $18.8 billion. But why stop there? Israel will also receive Medium Range Air-to-Air Missiles (AMRAAM), nearly 33,000 tank cartridges, and up to 50,000 high-explosive mortars—because if there’s anything the Middle East needs, it’s more high-explosive mortars.

A Balanced Approach—As Long As the Scale Tips in Our Favor

The State Department has reassured everyone that this deal will not disrupt the “basic military balance” in the region. It’s comforting to know that flooding the area with even more weapons is somehow not going to make things worse. In fact, they argue that it won’t have any adverse impact on US defense readiness either. Perhaps they’re right—what’s a few billion dollars’ worth of arms between friends?

However, this announcement comes at a time when tensions are already sky-high, with fears that the ongoing war in Gaza could explode into a full-scale regional conflict. Just a few weeks ago, the world was treated to the extrajudicial killing of Hamas leader Ismail Haniyeh in Iran and top Hezbollah commander Fuad Shukr in Beirut. As expected, Tehran and Hezbollah didn’t take kindly to these assassinations and have issued threats to retaliate against Israel, because, you know, that’s how peace is kept in these parts.

A Recipe for Conflict: Just Add More Weapons

Of course, the timing of this announcement is impeccable. Nothing calms the nerves like selling weapons to a country involved in a heated conflict. The deal, while mostly consisting of long-term contracts, is seen as a strategic move to bolster Israel’s military capabilities. It’s almost as if the powers-that-be are setting the stage for the next big blockbuster—“Middle East: The Sequel.”

Adding fuel to the fire, the leaders of France, Germany, and the UK have issued a joint statement asking Iran and its allies to “refrain from attacks that would further escalate regional tensions.” Translation: Please don’t start a war while we’re trying to figure out which side to sell weapons to next.

The Delicate Dance of War and Politics

It’s no secret that Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s government has been under increasing pressure from President Biden’s administration to put an end to the hostilities in Gaza. The international community, too, has voiced concerns over Israel’s methods of warfare—methods that have, according to Palestinian health officials, resulted in over 39,800 deaths. But why listen to the critics when you can just approve a $20 billion arms deal instead?

Some speculate that this announcement is a clever ploy to silence pre-election criticism from Republicans who argue that the Biden-Harris administration isn’t doing enough to support Israel. After all, nothing says “We support you” like a multi-billion-dollar shipment of advanced weaponry.

Conclusion: Arms Sales—The Ultimate Gesture of Peace

In the end, this $20 billion arms deal is clearly a win-win for everyone involved—except, perhaps, the civilians caught in the crossfire. But hey, as long as Israel’s self-defense capabilities are “strong and ready,” who’s counting the casualties? The US can sleep easy knowing that it’s done its part to maintain peace and stability in the Middle East—by ensuring that one side is armed to the teeth.