Ah, confining millions to their cozy little nests– because viruses are known for their respect of property boundaries, right? Who knew viruses would politely knock on doors and say, “Oh, sorry, didn’t realize it was a lockdown, I’ll just infect someone else, shall I?” Clearly, viruses are just big fans of stay-at-home orders. They probably even follow them on social media for updates.
Because, let’s face it, viruses thrive on solitude. They totally understand the concept of isolation and the importance of personal space. It’s not like they’ve been evolving for millennia to spread efficiently among social beings. Nope, they definitely respect our attempts to thwart their plans by binge-watching Netflix.

And let’s not forget how wonderfully effective it was to close everything down! Businesses shuttering their doors, the economy gasping for breath– oh, the virus must have been shaking in its microscopic boots. Because everyone knows a virus can’t survive without that local coffee shop being closed.
So yes, confining millions to their homes was the absolute pinnacle of genius. Viruses everywhere are quaking in fear, thanking us for our remarkable strategy. Or, you know, they’re just doing what viruses do– finding new ways to spread while we rearrange our furniture for the umpteenth time.
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