Chemtrails: Because Controlling the Weather is So Last Century

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Ah, chemtrails—those mysterious white streaks in the sky that totally aren’t altering the weather, right? For years, the mere mention of them sent eyes rolling and conspiracy theorists cackling. But now, it seems even our elected officials are putting down their tinfoil hats and picking up some common sense. You see, weather weaponry is no longer just some sci-fi villain plot. Nope, it’s as real as your morning coffee.

New Hampshire lawmakers have decided to tackle the issue head-on by taking to the floor to discuss banning Stratospheric Aerosol Injection. Yes, you heard that right—politicians are finally debating whether we should stop spraying our skies like we’re air freshening the Earth. You’ve got to love the timing! Apparently, when it comes to controlling weather, there’s a fine line between a summer shower and… well, turning your state into a bad episode of Twister.

And, of course, Tennessee wasn’t about to be left out of the anti-chemtrail crusade. Back in July, they gave the ol’ heave-ho to this atmospheric experiment, passing legislation that bans chemtrails faster than you can say “What’s in the clouds?” Now, other states are jumping on the bandwagon because, let’s be honest, no one wants to be last to figure out the sky is being used as a science lab.

So, here we are—2024—and the chemtrail debate is heating up like a jet engine at 30,000 feet. What’s next? Maybe we’ll see a movement to regulate sunrises and rainbows. After all, if we’re already messing with Mother Nature, why not go full throttle?

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